Day 1: Gross

My mission, which I chose to accept: Reach an unbelievably high level of disgust with myself eating as much disgusting, fattening food as I can handle. Today's the first day on the drops and it's a fat-loading day.

Did I find success? Yes, I did. And, as the overachiever that I am, I did it at breakfast.

Today's Meals:
Wake up snack: Funsize Snickers, Funsize Twix, and a small bag of M&Ms.

Breakfast: McDonald's Sausage Biscuit, hashbrown, and small Coke.

Breakfast wreaked complete havoc on my digestive system, so I had to have a...

Post-breakfast snack: Package of Hostess donettes (powdered).

Lunch: McDonald's - two hamburgers, small fries, and a Coke.

Dinner: Mini chicken quesadilla, an order of fries, and several Cokes.

Post-dinner snack: Hostess donettes (chocolate), Snickers peanut butter candy bar.

I have spent many a day eating utter crap, but NEVER this gross. I actually had a CRAVING for vegetables. I ran to the closest mirror to make sure I was still myself.

I acquired all my needed supplies today, which means I got on the scale and took some measurements. And then immediately wished I hadn't. The numbers were...downright embarrassing. I have to say, once you know the numbers, you can't deny the need for diet any longer. A friend of mine told me I was brave to share the numbers, but I think honesty is a big part of any diet. Can I have the envelope please?

Weight: Fat 231.7
Arms: Ham hock 16.5"
Thigh: Double ham hock 29"
Waist: Used tire 42"
Hips: Small satellite 44.5"

Pudge was excited about these fat-loading days. Pretty sure he's not so excited anymore.

Until tomorrow...

Oh, if you see me rolling down the street and I look like I'm going to hit something, divert me.